Big, Bad, Black Chris

Immigration policy isn’t just the new buzz word for protesters in Arizona, it’s a nifty tool countries on the have side of the have/have not divisions of the globe use to keep poor people out; that is unless they agree to be overworked and barely paid doing the jobs black folks used to do 50 years ago. Although its Hispanic people who seemed to be making the biggest fuss as of late, plenty of black migrants from places like Jamaica and Trinidad (there are others) who are fighting the same fight. In a world where you need cold hard cash to get cold healthy water, it doesn’t seem odd that only certain people have a right to certain spaces. Color is the thread policy makers often weave through their regulations. The blacker the berry, the more likely they are to want to leave it out of the melting pot.

The big dogs in the BK showed out this weekend when sent Chris Brown stepping. Noting the right to deny entry to anyone for any reason the director of the UK Border Agency International Group stated that public service was their biggest concern.

Unless the UK has been overrun by sultry Caribbean-born pop princesses with sexy accents and sassy attitudes, I’d say the population won’t be in danger with Brown performing in a few concerts. This decision has more to do with him being a young, BLACK convicted FELON, than it does with protecting the citizens from any real threat. Like any other man whose done wrong, Chris must face the consequences of his actions, and I’m not one to judge the severity of those consequences. But let’s be real, the UK isn’t going all gung ho against domestic violence. They see a black man with a record and for them, he just doesn’t belong in their space.

Do you think Britain was wrong for barring Brown from their entire country?

That Hair Thang

The pretty much prissy girl that I am prohibits me from hardly ever getting violent. Except for that time my stylist showed up 2 hours late to the salon, on PROM day. Just thinking about it still gives me a slightly evil twitch. Well, you'd think that living through that, plus an over-processed color would be enough bad hair karma for any girl to survive, not so much. Three weeks ago I graduated from SU, and, as the senior class marshal (a.k.a. token black girl holding it down for all of us) I had to lead in the entire class of 201o at commencement. Of course, my hair stylist, went out of town.

After I kicked myself for not making an appointment earlier, I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized I could handle my hair on my own. In addition to being extra healthy, my natural do allows me to do things with my hair I wouldn't have dreamed of doing to my silky straight tresses.

Looking over my pictures got me thinking about all the hair transformations of the past 21 years, and the crazy questions I was asked. These are five things that got me rolling. I know my sistas can relate.

Tell me your funniest or most shocking hair horor story, and we'll laugh/cry together.

1. Can I touch it?

Hands off! If you’ve asked this question, you’ve at least got enough sense not to invade a woman’s space without her permission. Once us gals are tall enough to get on the big girl rides at the amusement park, however, we’re beyond the petting stage. No matter how innocently curious you may be, some black women will still feel a sense of uneasy exoticism by this request, so head to a wig shop and knock yourself out.

2. Is that all your hair?

In America, if you buy it, it’s yours; so resist the urge to ask a question that doesn’t make any difference in the first place. If a woman wants you to know her hair is a weave, she’ll tell you.

3. How often do you wash your hair?

Many black women don’t wash their hair everyday, and some do, but there is no code that says we have to do it either way. If the hair stinks or has visible dirt, then you’ve already got your answer.

4. How does your hair really look?

Just like any woman who wears make-up, what you see is what she wants you to see, so don’t inquire about what she leaves to the imagination. On the other hand, you can’t assume that every black woman with soft curls or straight hair is wearing a weave or has chemically straightened her hair.

5. Can you change your hair to meet Eurocentric beauty standards?

So this isn’t exactly water cooler chatter but everyday, employers, loved ones, and friends, ask black women to alter styles that are neat and clean, because they don’t meet popular beauty standards. When you’re in a position of influence, dare to see beauty outside the little white box.

Ditch That...

Okay, so this one is about a month old, but it was just sitting here on my computer, and I decided to finish it and publish it anyways

Ever known a guy who could LITERALLY talk his way out of anything? My freshman year in college I met an NYC boy in an early morning international relations class that I swore was the epitome of swag. After attending a couple class sessions, he decided his time at 8:25a.m. would be better spent in bed. He skipped the class, but met me at the door every morning to walk me to my next class and keep me company (We almost got the same grade by the way. I earned an A, but felt gypped). Every conversation we’ve ever had has tickled me in one way or another.

A week ago we’re talking and he brings up relationships. Since I was assigned to work in the relationships section at ESSENCE, I’ve jumped head first into a world of human interaction I never thought could be so deep. I love picking peoples brains to see what they really think. My convo with Young Swag went a little something like this:

Young Swag: So what are you looking for these days anyway?

Me: I’m still looking for a good time, but I want something more permanent.

Young Swag: Well you’re in the wrong city then.

Me: Huh?

Young Swag: This is New York. Chicks get put on hold in the summa time.

Me: What? I know too many happy couple in the city to believe that.

Young Swag: Naw, I’m serious. Girls do it to. People who were booed ain’t tryna
be tied down in the summa. That’s how it is here. If you don’t like it, get out now.

Me: Hmmm, well thanks for the advice, I guess.

Did he actually know what he was talking about? Do most young NYC couples call it quits once the heat turns up? But summer time can be so romantic in NYC, hello, Central Park. And is any relationship that requires a 90-day break worth being in for the other months of the year anyways? Is this whole summer break thing something that happens in places besides New York?

Somebody tell me what’s going on…

The summer of the unemployed college grad

(In addition to everything else that's great about interning this summer, I get to meet gorgeous celebs like Kelly Rowland).

A couple weeks ago I read a depressing article in the New York Times by Alex Williams: Say Hello to Underachieving. The article, basically said the millennial generation (i.e. me, most of the people I love and probably you) is screwed. The upside to the dreadful mire of debt and unemployment: we’ll get to spend more time on mom and dad’s couch. After all, there’s nothing like a relaxing six months without your dream job (or even a crappy job for that matter) after you’ve spent the past four years of your life working you’re a** off to prepare for it. Your parents enjoyed you so much during those (gradually shorter and less frequent) trips home on school breaks, they can’t wait to have you home full time so you can chat and bond with your siblings. Who cares that you’ll slowly begin forgetting the stuff they just spent $150,000 for you to learn (this number only seems crazy if you went to a public university or had serious grant/scholarship money)?

 Williams missed the mark on two BIG points:

 1) The brightest, best, and blessed…are still just that

All millenials aren’t doomed. My fellow Essence interns and I are testaments to the fact that not all 20-25 year olds are working at amusement parks. Although my friends in the finance industry (all of whom are employed this summer) would cry if they got my check on payday, finding an internship that doesn’t require making Starbucks runs (although I’d do it in a heartbeat, with a smile), that you really like, and that pays you, is like finding gold in the media industry. I have unemployed friends that I'm not worried about. Truth be told, showing up for work the day after you walked across the stage wasn’t typical even before the recession (excluding IT, medical, and education folks). Even if it the job comes six months after graduation day, I know my peeps will be just fine in the end.

 2) No, your family does NOT miss you that much

There are a lot of things my parents miss about me, but if it came down to me working 300 miles away or sitting at home so they could see my shining face, they’d never choose the latter. If you’re blessed enough to have parents who are cool with you living at home while you make the transition from college, that’s great. But the transition must include MEANINGFUL WORK. Believe or not, there’s a lot of that stuff to go around—from volunteering to interning, to coming up with projects that will boost your resume. Last summer I studied in Paris for six weeks, but I knew I needed something to do before and after my trip. I e-mailed a local magazine editor on a whim. She hired me. It was unpaid, but I’m pretty sure that experience helped me stand out when I applied at Essence, and my parents didn’t mind being my sponsors for the summer once they saw my name in print.

 Let it be known that working smarter and praying harder, ALWAYS pays off in the end.

What are you doing to make the most of this summer?

Does he say your name

As the daughter of a pastor I'm constantly making it into my dad's sermons--for better or for worse. While it's not always fun for the entire congregation to know about the first time I thought I was too grown to obey a curfew, or the bank statements that have given my dad small panic attacks, it makes me blush to know that his princess is on his mind enough to make it into the message he feeds his flock every week. Even though he usually shares more than I wish he would, it makes me feel special (kind of like how he insisted on holding my hand as we walked halfway through Times Square when he dropped me off in NYC for the summer).

That's all his way of proclaiming to the world (specifically the male portion) that I'm covered. There's already someone who loves me, protects me, provides for me, and sets the standard for any potential suitors who want to take a stab at being "the man" in my life. Steve Harvey (yes I actually bought his relationship book and liked it) says men profess, provide, and protect a woman they really love, all of which Dr. Williams handles pretty well for my mom, setting an awesome example for my brothers.

So, I started thinking, for 20-something women in a 21st century world, does professing include facebook? Harvey mentioned that a man who's in it for the long haul gives you a title, and shares it with the world. Since everyone I know in the world is on facebook, is my man required to profess his love to me by clicking the right tab on his profile? Do you care if your boo has a relationship status at all? Does your significant other have to list your name under the relationship status? Is it okay to put that you're "in a relationship" or should it upgrade to "engaged" or "married" after a certain amount of time? Do you really need that whole couples photo album thing, or is that just cheesy? And what the hell does it mean if your honey opts to put, "it's complicated"?

Does your boo claim you on facebook? Fill me in...please.

Touched by a king

I watched The Jackson Five movie so much when I was younger, my mother eventually took the tape and banned me from touching it. Fastforward about five years and the King of Pop re-emgerged on the world stage with his Invincible album, and that's when it happened. That's when I fell for him. My aunt had given me his album as only a stocking stuffer, but it was the best Christmas gift I'd gotten that winter.

He's the man who made us all believe in Never Neverland. He's the guy who convinced us all that being bad was a good thing. We've loved . RIP Michael Jackson. You've made a lasting impact on this PYT.

When did you first invite the king into your world? What were you listening to when you realized that his songs could very well provide the party soundtrack to your life?

Tell me your favorite Michael moment.

Is there life after the beat down?

We all know Chris Brown hasn't exactly been making his mama proud lately (openly chilling at Diddy's summer home hours after beating an international pop princess like she stole something...he's made better decisions). Brown is the perpetrator in the most talked about domestic violence scandal since we found out Bishop Thomas Weeks was abusing our favorite female evangelist, Juanita Bynum. What's different about this case? Chris Brown and Rihanna are young American pop royalty with good looks, style, and talent for days, and they're both barely old enough to drink legally.

So he faced the music and now he's stuck cleaning the streets, and oh yeah, he'll live the rest of his life with an ugly criminal record. But what this brotha has over the other convicted felons out there is that he's such a cutie pie. Honestly, we all know Chris Brown may have lost some banging endorsement deals, but he'll probably have an album out within a year, and it'll probably go platinum. But what about his relationship fate? Is there hope for his love life after the worst beat down of his young life? Will we shake our heads at the next PYT on Mr. Brown's arm, but secretly envy her?

I've heard most young women my age dis Chris for his ways, but they were the same young women talking about how fine he was a few months ago. And don't most women secretly take pride in getting the guy who they think they can change into the man he's supposed to be? Beating Rihanna was grimy, but, if Chris Brown walked up to you and spit game tomorrow, would you send him walking (with his super star status, southern boy charm, and serious bank)?

As much as my mother would hate for me to admit it, I'd think twice before telling the brother that all I could offer him was prayer. Shoot, the last time I went on a date...wait, does that intern mixer a random hottie invited me to even count as a date? Probably not. Should the ladies look past Chris Brown's ruined rep to see the great catch he used to be--or at least the guy we all thought he was?

Tell me what you think.