The "Other Woman"

We’ve all resented her at some point. For Jackie O, it was Marilyn Monroe. Faith Evans had Lil’ Kim. And for the women on Maury and Jerry Springer it always seems to be a cousin or not so distant relative. Regardless, the “other woman” tends to trigger the same responses in every woman she affects, the release of a surging can of whoop ass, and/or, crying, a whole lot of crying.

What of this “other woman”? This woman could be your hair stylist, a fellow church member, your favorite shopping partner, but you find out she’s banging your man and all of a sudden she sprouts red horns. Is she more than just the chick we love to hate and the heifer we blame for our failed relationships? Let’s examine it.

There are two kinds of mistresses, the ones who know their status and the ones who are fooled into believing they are his one and only. There are women like home girl from Diary of a Mad Black Woman who are way out of order. Then there are ladies who are not aware that they are the “other women” at all, like one of my personal favorites, Meredith Grey (Grey’s Anatomy). For all they knew, they were in perfectly monogamous relationships. In that case, who’s to say who actually has dibs on the dog? Is it the girl who’s been being played longer? Is it the woman he spends more money on, or, the one he spends more time with?

I am not making excuses for anyone. Cheating is never okay. I am saying that the “other woman”, is, well…a woman. She’s one of God’s children. She’s equally as human as you are. She needs love just like you do. Maybe in a moment of weakness she let the man sweet talk her into doing something she knew was wrong, and that moment, turned into an affair. Maybe she’s just trying to support her purse addiction and figures, what his girl doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Maybe she’s hated you since the third grade and just can’t stand the thought of you being happy. Maybe she’s at such a low point that she believes she is not worthy of a man of her own. In any case, she is still a woman.

The fact of the matter is, cheating is irrational. It makes no sense. So I am done trying to rationalize it. With my last boyfriend, when I was far too young to know any better, I did not know if I was the home wrecker, or, if it was his baby mama. What I know for sure, is that there will always be men who cheat. So the “other woman” will always exist. In the mean time I’ll try to live up to my Christian goal and love all of God’s children unconditionally. I don’t need anymore reasons to hate my sister.