A search for unspeakable joy

Paradise

    is in your mind.

 

As I sat across from the nine year old girl, dress stained from being worn too many times and washed too few, stomach growling, her arms buckled under the weight of her youngest brother. It seemed every time she got accustomed to the load of one, her mother would have another baby. One thing stood out amidst this tattered beauty, her smile. Her smile was aesthetically pleasing but it was something beyond the seemingly effortless curl of her lips that made it beautiful. This girl, whose name I cannot remember, was the oldest child in a family of nine that my church had recently adopted. The parents were recovering drug addicts, neither of them spoke English, they had no formal education and they felt no shame in burdening their oldest child with responsibilities I could not imagine grappling with even as 19-yr. old self-proclaimed "adult".

 

So the fact that she could smile, so genuine, so sweet, was a miracle to me. She possessed unspeakable joy. The kind of joy they talk about in church hymns "the world didn't give it, and the world can't take it away". She was thankful for life, even though it was one of poverty. She was thankful for the love she received from caring for her younger siblings, even though it meant she could not live a life typical of an elementary school girl. She was thankful for an education, even though it was a far cry from what she should have received. She was thankful for good food, even if there was not enough to curb her hunger.

 

My church lost contact with the family after the parents stopped attending church and relapsed. Somehow I do not fear for this girl, because she possesses a trait that some of the wealthiest, most "stable" people in the world will never master. She possesses a spiritual capability that will supersede the trials of her hard knock life.

 

In trying to grasp my own unspeakable joy I am beginning an experiment of sorts this week. Starting tomorrow, I will begin and end my day, by writing down ten things I am thankful for. At the end of this week, I will evaluate my data and draw some sort of conclusion for my next blog. I expect to find that my days will pass much easier because this behavioral change will undoubtedly shift my mindset. After all, as India tells us, it doesn't cost a thing to smile, you don't have to pay to laugh, and you gotta thank God for that.