Ditch That...

Okay, so this one is about a month old, but it was just sitting here on my computer, and I decided to finish it and publish it anyways

Ever known a guy who could LITERALLY talk his way out of anything? My freshman year in college I met an NYC boy in an early morning international relations class that I swore was the epitome of swag. After attending a couple class sessions, he decided his time at 8:25a.m. would be better spent in bed. He skipped the class, but met me at the door every morning to walk me to my next class and keep me company (We almost got the same grade by the way. I earned an A, but felt gypped). Every conversation we’ve ever had has tickled me in one way or another.

A week ago we’re talking and he brings up relationships. Since I was assigned to work in the relationships section at ESSENCE, I’ve jumped head first into a world of human interaction I never thought could be so deep. I love picking peoples brains to see what they really think. My convo with Young Swag went a little something like this:

Young Swag: So what are you looking for these days anyway?

Me: I’m still looking for a good time, but I want something more permanent.

Young Swag: Well you’re in the wrong city then.

Me: Huh?

Young Swag: This is New York. Chicks get put on hold in the summa time.

Me: What? I know too many happy couple in the city to believe that.

Young Swag: Naw, I’m serious. Girls do it to. People who were booed ain’t tryna
be tied down in the summa. That’s how it is here. If you don’t like it, get out now.

Me: Hmmm, well thanks for the advice, I guess.

Did he actually know what he was talking about? Do most young NYC couples call it quits once the heat turns up? But summer time can be so romantic in NYC, hello, Central Park. And is any relationship that requires a 90-day break worth being in for the other months of the year anyways? Is this whole summer break thing something that happens in places besides New York?

Somebody tell me what’s going on…

The summer of the unemployed college grad

(In addition to everything else that's great about interning this summer, I get to meet gorgeous celebs like Kelly Rowland).

A couple weeks ago I read a depressing article in the New York Times by Alex Williams: Say Hello to Underachieving. The article, basically said the millennial generation (i.e. me, most of the people I love and probably you) is screwed. The upside to the dreadful mire of debt and unemployment: we’ll get to spend more time on mom and dad’s couch. After all, there’s nothing like a relaxing six months without your dream job (or even a crappy job for that matter) after you’ve spent the past four years of your life working you’re a** off to prepare for it. Your parents enjoyed you so much during those (gradually shorter and less frequent) trips home on school breaks, they can’t wait to have you home full time so you can chat and bond with your siblings. Who cares that you’ll slowly begin forgetting the stuff they just spent $150,000 for you to learn (this number only seems crazy if you went to a public university or had serious grant/scholarship money)?

 Williams missed the mark on two BIG points:

 1) The brightest, best, and blessed…are still just that

All millenials aren’t doomed. My fellow Essence interns and I are testaments to the fact that not all 20-25 year olds are working at amusement parks. Although my friends in the finance industry (all of whom are employed this summer) would cry if they got my check on payday, finding an internship that doesn’t require making Starbucks runs (although I’d do it in a heartbeat, with a smile), that you really like, and that pays you, is like finding gold in the media industry. I have unemployed friends that I'm not worried about. Truth be told, showing up for work the day after you walked across the stage wasn’t typical even before the recession (excluding IT, medical, and education folks). Even if it the job comes six months after graduation day, I know my peeps will be just fine in the end.

 2) No, your family does NOT miss you that much

There are a lot of things my parents miss about me, but if it came down to me working 300 miles away or sitting at home so they could see my shining face, they’d never choose the latter. If you’re blessed enough to have parents who are cool with you living at home while you make the transition from college, that’s great. But the transition must include MEANINGFUL WORK. Believe or not, there’s a lot of that stuff to go around—from volunteering to interning, to coming up with projects that will boost your resume. Last summer I studied in Paris for six weeks, but I knew I needed something to do before and after my trip. I e-mailed a local magazine editor on a whim. She hired me. It was unpaid, but I’m pretty sure that experience helped me stand out when I applied at Essence, and my parents didn’t mind being my sponsors for the summer once they saw my name in print.

 Let it be known that working smarter and praying harder, ALWAYS pays off in the end.

What are you doing to make the most of this summer?

Does he say your name

As the daughter of a pastor I'm constantly making it into my dad's sermons--for better or for worse. While it's not always fun for the entire congregation to know about the first time I thought I was too grown to obey a curfew, or the bank statements that have given my dad small panic attacks, it makes me blush to know that his princess is on his mind enough to make it into the message he feeds his flock every week. Even though he usually shares more than I wish he would, it makes me feel special (kind of like how he insisted on holding my hand as we walked halfway through Times Square when he dropped me off in NYC for the summer).

That's all his way of proclaiming to the world (specifically the male portion) that I'm covered. There's already someone who loves me, protects me, provides for me, and sets the standard for any potential suitors who want to take a stab at being "the man" in my life. Steve Harvey (yes I actually bought his relationship book and liked it) says men profess, provide, and protect a woman they really love, all of which Dr. Williams handles pretty well for my mom, setting an awesome example for my brothers.

So, I started thinking, for 20-something women in a 21st century world, does professing include facebook? Harvey mentioned that a man who's in it for the long haul gives you a title, and shares it with the world. Since everyone I know in the world is on facebook, is my man required to profess his love to me by clicking the right tab on his profile? Do you care if your boo has a relationship status at all? Does your significant other have to list your name under the relationship status? Is it okay to put that you're "in a relationship" or should it upgrade to "engaged" or "married" after a certain amount of time? Do you really need that whole couples photo album thing, or is that just cheesy? And what the hell does it mean if your honey opts to put, "it's complicated"?

Does your boo claim you on facebook? Fill me in...please.

Touched by a king

I watched The Jackson Five movie so much when I was younger, my mother eventually took the tape and banned me from touching it. Fastforward about five years and the King of Pop re-emgerged on the world stage with his Invincible album, and that's when it happened. That's when I fell for him. My aunt had given me his album as only a stocking stuffer, but it was the best Christmas gift I'd gotten that winter.

He's the man who made us all believe in Never Neverland. He's the guy who convinced us all that being bad was a good thing. We've loved . RIP Michael Jackson. You've made a lasting impact on this PYT.

When did you first invite the king into your world? What were you listening to when you realized that his songs could very well provide the party soundtrack to your life?

Tell me your favorite Michael moment.

Is there life after the beat down?

We all know Chris Brown hasn't exactly been making his mama proud lately (openly chilling at Diddy's summer home hours after beating an international pop princess like she stole something...he's made better decisions). Brown is the perpetrator in the most talked about domestic violence scandal since we found out Bishop Thomas Weeks was abusing our favorite female evangelist, Juanita Bynum. What's different about this case? Chris Brown and Rihanna are young American pop royalty with good looks, style, and talent for days, and they're both barely old enough to drink legally.

So he faced the music and now he's stuck cleaning the streets, and oh yeah, he'll live the rest of his life with an ugly criminal record. But what this brotha has over the other convicted felons out there is that he's such a cutie pie. Honestly, we all know Chris Brown may have lost some banging endorsement deals, but he'll probably have an album out within a year, and it'll probably go platinum. But what about his relationship fate? Is there hope for his love life after the worst beat down of his young life? Will we shake our heads at the next PYT on Mr. Brown's arm, but secretly envy her?

I've heard most young women my age dis Chris for his ways, but they were the same young women talking about how fine he was a few months ago. And don't most women secretly take pride in getting the guy who they think they can change into the man he's supposed to be? Beating Rihanna was grimy, but, if Chris Brown walked up to you and spit game tomorrow, would you send him walking (with his super star status, southern boy charm, and serious bank)?

As much as my mother would hate for me to admit it, I'd think twice before telling the brother that all I could offer him was prayer. Shoot, the last time I went on a date...wait, does that intern mixer a random hottie invited me to even count as a date? Probably not. Should the ladies look past Chris Brown's ruined rep to see the great catch he used to be--or at least the guy we all thought he was?

Tell me what you think.