That Hair Thang

The pretty much prissy girl that I am prohibits me from hardly ever getting violent. Except for that time my stylist showed up 2 hours late to the salon, on PROM day. Just thinking about it still gives me a slightly evil twitch. Well, you'd think that living through that, plus an over-processed color would be enough bad hair karma for any girl to survive, not so much. Three weeks ago I graduated from SU, and, as the senior class marshal (a.k.a. token black girl holding it down for all of us) I had to lead in the entire class of 201o at commencement. Of course, my hair stylist, went out of town.

After I kicked myself for not making an appointment earlier, I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized I could handle my hair on my own. In addition to being extra healthy, my natural do allows me to do things with my hair I wouldn't have dreamed of doing to my silky straight tresses.

Looking over my pictures got me thinking about all the hair transformations of the past 21 years, and the crazy questions I was asked. These are five things that got me rolling. I know my sistas can relate.

Tell me your funniest or most shocking hair horor story, and we'll laugh/cry together.

1. Can I touch it?

Hands off! If you’ve asked this question, you’ve at least got enough sense not to invade a woman’s space without her permission. Once us gals are tall enough to get on the big girl rides at the amusement park, however, we’re beyond the petting stage. No matter how innocently curious you may be, some black women will still feel a sense of uneasy exoticism by this request, so head to a wig shop and knock yourself out.

2. Is that all your hair?

In America, if you buy it, it’s yours; so resist the urge to ask a question that doesn’t make any difference in the first place. If a woman wants you to know her hair is a weave, she’ll tell you.

3. How often do you wash your hair?

Many black women don’t wash their hair everyday, and some do, but there is no code that says we have to do it either way. If the hair stinks or has visible dirt, then you’ve already got your answer.

4. How does your hair really look?

Just like any woman who wears make-up, what you see is what she wants you to see, so don’t inquire about what she leaves to the imagination. On the other hand, you can’t assume that every black woman with soft curls or straight hair is wearing a weave or has chemically straightened her hair.

5. Can you change your hair to meet Eurocentric beauty standards?

So this isn’t exactly water cooler chatter but everyday, employers, loved ones, and friends, ask black women to alter styles that are neat and clean, because they don’t meet popular beauty standards. When you’re in a position of influence, dare to see beauty outside the little white box.